Summer Days...

Summer Days…

My summer is coming to a close and in true CPE fashion, I can’t help but reflect on this time in my life.  I have heard many priests say that CPE is the hardest part of seminary.  I am not sure I completely agree, but it was not easy.  But, in the midst of the pain, suffering, and flat out fear, Jesus always shows up.  It is a lesson that I have to relearn often and constantly be reminded of.  I am different because of this experience.  I am braver, I have reflected on many of my own personal struggles, and I am working on them.  Most of all, I am thankful for the challenges and joys of the summer and I know that I was exactly where I was suppose to be.

Having the honor and privilege of attending General Convention is one that I will never forget.  The Episcopal Church is working hard to come to the table together.  That was made abundantly clear to me at General Convention.  No, we don’t always agree, yes, there are people who are extremely hurt on both sides of many issues, but we as a Church are willing to listen and most importantly extend grace to each other.  Isn’t that exactly what we are called to do?  I am thankful to be a part of a denomination that wants to recognize that we need all voices to make up the Body of Christ.

On Sunday, I preached at Christ Church, Fairfield, Alabama.  Christ Church is an inner city Church in Birmingham, Alabama.  The energy in that holy space was something I have never felt before.  It is a safe space and I was welcomed with open arms.  I received some Amen’s during my sermon, which made me happy.  But more importantly, I was asked to pray with parishioners after the service, right smack in the middle of the parking lot.  It was a moment that I will not forget - God using me as his instrument.  I am so thankful for that opportunity.

I have said this before many, many times, but I have the most incredible parents.  They have made this summer possible for me.  Walks with my Mom, chatting Church talk with my Dad, their never-ending love for me, and their constant and true love for God that they show to everyone they encounter.  I can’t thank them enough for all that they do for me, but I really can’t thank them enough for the pure and constant love that they show me.  Thanks be to God for Polk and Mary Jo Van Zandt!

It is bittersweet to leave Tennessee.  I will miss my family terribly, but I am excited to get back to Austin.  It is time to embrace my wonderful SSW community again and to dig deep into the school year and all that it will offer me.  If I don’t leave, I’ll never get to come back….

Blessings as the ride continues…  Mary Balfour

General Convention Day 3 and 4...

General Convention Day 3 and 4…

Day 3 and 4 at General Convention did not disappoint.  Day 3 (yesterday) was filled with lovely chats and interviews with alumni of SSW and Bishops from several Dioceses.  I actually had conversations with the Bishops of Alabama, Tennessee, Mississippi, Virginia, and North Carolina.  I am amazed at how generous everyone has been with his or her time.  All have been willing to answer our question: “What does the Church need of her leaders.”  The answers have been diverse, truthful, and inspiring.  I love Bishop Sloan’s answer, “We need people that are willing to live in the joy in the Holy Spirit.”  So wise and true!

The Rt. Rev. Michael Curry, Bishop of North Carolina, preached one of the most powerful sermons I have ever had the privilege of hearing.  I encourage you to all go to my Facebook page and watch the video.  He asked us to be “crazy Christians” and live the Gospel.  I attended one of the committee meetings of the Prayer Book, Liturgy, and Music Committee.  My Bishop, The Rt. Rev. Kee Sloan is the Secretary of this committee.  The committee heard testimony both for and against the trial same sex blessing liturgy that will be voted on at this General Convention.  I was astonished at how this committee worked.  Robert’s Rules of Order were certainly in affect.  The meeting was civil, both sides of the issues were heard, and I hope that the testimony will be helpful to the committee as they make their decision on this historic vote.

The Southwest Six were treated to a fantastic dinner by our dean, The Very Rev. Doug Travis.  Several board members, faculty, and staff were present as well.  Last night was the one night that all of the Southwest Six were at the Convention at the same time.  I really enjoyed spending time with the Southwest family.

Today, my final day at General Convention, began by attending a Festival Eucharist.  Over 4,000 people were in attendance.  I got there a little late, so I decided to head downstairs to the overflow room.  All of the sudden, the Presiding Bishop and the President of the House of Deputies came in to the room.  I received communion from the Presiding Bishop - it is a moment I will not forget.

We spent time at Victory Field today as the Diocese of Indianapolis hosted us all for a fun day at the ballpark.   A few more hours at the SSW booth, and it was time for me to say goodbye.

I have made it back to my parent’s home and I am tired.  Tired, but happy.  Happy for all the good work that the Episcopal Church is doing.  Thrilled in the effort that we take to listen to one another, but most importantly love one another.  My prayers are with everyone that is in attendance at General Convention.  May we continue to practice peace and harmony in the love of God.

Blessings as the ride continues…  Mary Balfour

PS- Thank you Seminary of the Southwest for this amazing experience.  I am honored to be a part of the SSW community and loved being included in the Southwest Six :)

General Convention Day 2...

General Convention Day 2…

Day 2 at General Convention was full and exciting.  Lots of alumni, Bishops and friends came by the SSW booth.  Everyone has been willing to share their thoughts and ideas about leadership in the Church.  In my opinion, this is a sign of how invested my brothers and sisters in Christ are in the process of growing and nourishing the Episcopal Church.

I have tried to post on facebook and twitter important resolutions that have been discussed and past through both the House of Deputies and House of Bishops.  Yesterday afternoon both Houses welcomed the Bishop Elects of 8 Dioceses.  There was excitement in the air in both Houses.  I was grateful to witness these important moments.

I suspect Day 3 will be filled with more excitement.  I hope we continue to have lots of activity at the SSW booth.  Of course I always love talking about my amazing seminary!!! 

Stay tuned!  Blessings as the ride continues… 

Mary Balfour

General Convention Day 1...

General Convention Day 1…

Today I arrive in Indianapolis for the 77^th General Convention of the Episcopal Church.   There is excitement in the air!!!  I love the energy and I guess I am becoming a Church nerd.  It is exciting to hear everyone discuss the resolutions and committee meetings as well as worshipping together everyday. 

I spent a lot of time today at the Seminary of the Southwest booth.  We had many visitors including alumni, Bishops, and new friends.  It is really thrilling watching all of these people come together to serve the Episcopal Church.  I feel honored to be a part of it.

Tomorrow I hope to experience some committee meetings, participate in the morning Eucharist, meet new people in the Exhibition Hall, and share lots of news with all of you at home. 

Stay tuned!  Blessings as the ride continues… 

Mary Balfour

General Convention...

General Convention…

I am thrilled to be a part of the Southwest Six as we journey to Indianapolis to participate in the 77^th General Convention of the Episcopal Church.  On Thursday of this week I will travel to Indianapolis to meet the other seminarians from the Seminary of the Southwest.  We will have the opportunity to meet Episcopalians from all over the country, sit in on committee meetings, hopefully chat with a bishop or two, and recruit lots of visitors to the SSW booth!

I really feel honored to have the opportunity to represent my seminary and to be a part of General Convention.  So many of the decisions that are made at General Convention shape who we are as Episcopalians.  Although we are a diverse community with a variety of opinions, the one thing that remains a strong between us is a love for God and ALL of His people.

I will be tweeting, blogging, and facebooking throughout my time in Indianapolis.  So whatever your favorite mode of social media is, please follow along!  I would also appreciate your prayers for the Southwest Six, the faculty and staff from SSW that are attending, and all of the delegates and clergy that will be present.  May we all carry each other in love throughout our time together in Indianapolis.

Before I head up north, I will be spending twenty-four hours at my favorite place, Monteagle!  My family has celebrated the 4^th of July on the Holy Mountain for generations.  It is an occasion that I have rarely missed through out my lifetime.  I am thankful that my family can be in fellowship together celebrating the birth of our country.

Expect lots of posts over the next week!  Blessings as the ride continues… 

Mary Balfour

Clinical Pastoral Education...

Clinical Pastoral Education…

I haven’t had the courage to write about Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) yet, because to be completely honest it has been a daily struggle for me and I don’t think I am very good at it.  CPE is basically being a chaplain at a hospital for one summer during your seminary experience.  In my case, I am working for a VA hospital in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, where my parents live.  From my understanding, the purpose of CPE is to discover issues within yourself and how to handle them in addition to working on your listening skills, becoming comfortable in a hospital, and experiencing death.

The VA hospital in Murfreesboro has many psychiatric patients in addition to a community living center, an acute care unit and a rehabilitation unit.  I want to share with you that I feel honored to spend my days with men and women who have given their time to serve our country.  With that being said, it is also extremely difficult to realize that I can’t “fix” their situations.  I am hoping that just walking in the room, listening and being present helps in some way.

In the past two days, I have had the pleasure of meeting two men that are full of joy, life and an amazing love of our God.  One was a Baptist minister for over 50 years.  Some of you will find this hard to believe, but he spent over an hour telling me his life story - I didn’t say one word!  The Holy Spirit was in the room as we talked, and I walked away feeling more than touched, almost changed.  I got so much out of my time with this incredible man.  He touched my heart.

Today, I spent time with a 91-year-old man who is at the end of his life.  He knows that he is dying and even though there is some emotion associated with the end of his life, he is not afraid and is confident he will be in heaven with his wife and Jesus.  I am more than confident that heaven is exactly where he is going.  This man has raised 9 children and 3 grandchildren and is content with his life.  Content, there is that word again. 

The last two days have been good days.  Honestly, most days are not as good.  There is grief, anger, loneliness, pain and many days, death.  I often don’t know what to say or how to comfort a patient or family.  All I know to do is pray.  So that is what I do.  Sometimes I am really afraid that someone is going to pass out, be in pain or even die in my presence.  This is flat out scary to me.  Someone I love very much reminded me the other day that being with someone as they die is one of the most intimate experiences they have ever experienced.  I need to find that courage to be intimate, not afraid, not anxious, and just present.  I am working on it.

I ask for prayers for the men and women at the VA, prayers for my classmates who are also experiencing CPE, my friends from other seminaries who are participating in CPE, and for me, that God will give me strength.  Thank you as always for your love and devotion.  

Blessings as the ride continues…  Mary Balfour

Porch Girls...

Porch Girls...

For over 25 years my mother and some of her closest friends have been gathering the second weekend in June at our family’s summer cottage in Monteagle, Tennessee.  This group of women call themselves the porch girls and for three days every year, they laugh, they play, but most importantly they support each other through the good times and the difficult times. 

I often ask my Mom if I might make a guest appearance and visit.  I just want to be a part of it all.  There is nothing better than sitting on the porch, eating wonderful food, and enjoying the company of these women.  I had the opportunity to be with the Porch Girls this weekend, and oh it was good for the soul.  Not only do they care deeply for my mother, and each other, but they care for me as well.  They listened so intently as I told them of my experiences at Seminary, CPE this summer, and life in general.  One of the ladies, who I know without a shadow of a doubt prays faithfully for all aspects of my life, told me this morning that she sees a sense of contentment in me.  Contentment, wow, what a powerful word.  I think she is right, I am content.  Content with the direction God is leading my life, content with the fact that I am seminarian, content that I have been blessed with wonderful friendships and family, and finally content with the truth that God is forming me into a priest.

I love the fact that my mother has these women, sisters, and friends in her life.  What a blessing and instrument of love that these women are to each other.  Everything is sacred and safe between them.  There is no judgment, there is no fear, there is just love.  So, to the porch girls, thank you for loving me, my family, and most importantly my AMAZING mother.  Thank you for being a part of this journey and your never ceasing prayers.  May we all find the kind of friendship that you all have given to each other and just be content in that bond that binds us all together.

Blessings as the ride continues…

Mary Balfour