The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it...

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it…

I have said this passage from the Gospel of John over and over in my head the past few weeks. Not because I am unhappy, but because I am overwhelmed. I keep looking for the light of Jesus to guide me through as I complete my junior year in seminary.

I look at the Bible that was given to me in September at my matriculation service and it has taken a beating! I have highlighted in almost every chapter, I have written all over it and the pages and cover are bruised. I can say the same thing for my Book of Common Prayer. I am not sure I could have told you most of the stories in the Bible in September. Not only have I learned them, but I have absorbed how to dig deep in to the text, to question it, to make it come alive, and to teach it. I have learned this and so much more. To make this statement is empowering for me because I never did well in school and I barely opened a Bible before coming to seminary. Yet, I knew God was calling me to a richer relationship with Him and as a shepherd of His people. Seminary has given me that and so much more.

I can say with certainty that I have learned more than I could have possibly imagined this year. The education I am receiving is not only in the classroom, but also in Christ Chapel, and with this amazing community. Most importantly I am growing with God. Sometimes growing hurts, often it feels dark, but if we remember Jesus and look for the light, we will be enriched and blessed ten fold.

I read a story yesterday about a woman finding Christ in an unlikely character. This person was married to a man that did evil things, he stole, he had affairs, and he was not a good guy. The man became ill and his wife took care of him, knowing of all of the unhealthy and broken things that he did in his life. It was difficult for her, but she lived out her true calling in life, to be a disciple of Christ, to act Christ like. Remember, Jesus associated with the leopards, blessed the outcasts, and forgave the sinners. This woman did just as Jesus would have done. The most important lesson I have learned this year is to be a disciple of Christ in everything I do. Take in the outcasts, love the unlovable, care for those that are different from me, and embrace the people that God has put in my life. Christian love will follow if there is love and respect in your life.

As this year comes to a close and I continue to look for the light of Jesus that is sometimes hidden in the darkness, I want to thank you all for supporting me on this journey. Even though seminary is the hardest thing I have ever done, for the first time in my life I feel completely at peace with God’s call for me. I have embraced the fact that He wants me to be a priest. I can only hope that I will not disappoint Him and remember to always look for Him in everyone that I encounter.

Blessings as the ride continues…

Mary Balfour

The Hands of God...

The Hands of God…

I was sitting and chatting with a dear friend this week telling her about letting go of certain fears and anxieties that I have. My friend patiently and kindly listened to me and said this, “Whenever I need to let go of something, I imagine a giant set of hands, God’s hands, taking the fear, worry or issue away from me.” I love the imaginary of a giant set of hands. Hands that are so big that they are able to take all of our pain and worries away. I was reminded that sometimes the best thing to do is let go and let God.

As I reflect back on the amazing Easter Triduum that we as a seminary celebrated last weekend and as I look forward to this Easter Tide season, I am thankful for where I am and grateful for this big set of hands to take all of my fears and worries away. The Easter Triduum was a wonderful experience. I am actually not sure that I have ever been to all four services and participated as fully as I did this year. Not only was it a learning tool for a bunch of future priests, but also we came together as a family and washed each other’s feet, kissed the cross of Jesus’ crucifixion, baptized babies and celebrated the fact that Christ is risen!!! Alleluia Christ has risen indeed!!!

After all of this I hit a wall! All this week my eyes have been extremely heavy. In the midst of tons of schoolwork, trying to participate in class and the growing pains of my class, I have just been trying to stay awake! I know the next few weeks will be painful but worth every minute, because I am learning, worshipping our Lord and basking in the glory of His resurrection. It is an exciting time and a privilege to be a part of the journey.

Two of my classmates have decided to transfer to other schools. I am sad about this and I will miss them. They have both pushed me, listen to me and cared for me. As they told us of their plans we decided to pray for them. The great news is that in the midst of these prayers we were able to celebrate them and what they have meant to the life of our seminary. We should pray all the time for the needs of others. Not just when someone is leaving or is sick. We should celebrate them!

As I give my fears and worries over to the giant hands of God, I am also going to celebrate all of you and thank Him for allowing me to be a part of your lives and yours a part of mine. Alleluia!!

Blessings as the ride continues…
Mary Balfour