My Theology...

My Theology…

As you might imagine, in seminary you not only learn about theology but you try to make sense of what your own theology is. I have always said that my theology is that God is love. I still believe that, but I want to go deeper with that statement. How do we know God’s love? How do we know when God is speaking to us and is showing His love for us through others? What does the word love mean? I don’t have the answers to the questions, but I am certainly thinking about them. I am also becoming more aware of my gifts - and issues that I need to work on!

I have always been a “doer.” You know, the person who volunteers, steps in, organizes events; this was my world for eleven years as a development officer. I am learning how to keep my “doer” personality while letting others shine as well. One hundred forty two amazing leaders surround me at SSW and many of them are “doers” as well. I have told you all this before, but this seminary is producing fabulous priests, counselors and chaplains. We are all in for a treat! How do I fit in to this group of one hundred forty two great people? How do I strengthen my gifts but also allowing for growing edges, edges that often hurt? These are the questions that I ponder often. These are the questions that I process with my classmates. In addition, how do I continue to remind myself that it is usually not about me?

This blog update isn’t a negative update; it is just real and what I am feeling. So, don’t get me wrong, I am still happy as a lark and I am enjoying every minute of seminary. I am also growing and sometimes growing hurts. I will admit having my Mom and Aunt Jane visit over Spring Break was a shot in the arm of goodness for me. I will be happy to be with my family this summer. In turn, I will be happy to come back to Austin in August.

So what is my theology? It is still God is love and I hope it always will be. But I am going to continue to ask myself what does that really mean and how does it strengthen our relationship with God. How are we creating space for Christ to show up in our lives? How are we letting God love us?

I am still working on my Lenten discipline of praying for those that I have hurt or who have hurt me. I am also praying for all of you that I love deeply. You are often in my thoughts and are very missed.

Blessings as the ride continues…

Mary Balfour